HeartAche

Hey bloggers,
Big shocker, i got my heartbroken . . . Again!
Why is is we never know what they are going to be like, and we hope they are different and then they turn out to be a prick. Well i guess meeting him off the net didn't help, We spoke most days every day for ages, he actually understood me and i still remember the first day i met up with him. I waited there scared stiffless for him, didn't know what to do say, i felt my hands go all clammy and my heart start to beat faster and faster. And there he was, in his baggy jeans, a hoodie and his hat. His big blue eyes staring down at me, i felt my legs go to jelly. It was like love at first sight (cheese i know but you won't know how it feels untill it happens to you.) I felt myself blush as we decided to walk around the local town (now bare in mind it really isn't that big) after we walked round it a couple of times and chatted i could tell i was slowly yet fastly falling in love. He had the biggest cheekiest grin ever and the whole day he had me in laughter. We met up a few times after that but we never actually kissed untill a few weeks after and let me tell you something about that kiss. I remember i was about to walk off to meet my friend when all of a sudden i felt something grab my arm, he pulled me closer and kissed me, the softest lips ever and it felt so right. I could feel the whole disney experience and i just couldn't believe it. It was true i had fallen. We got quite serious after that, a couple of months later my mum kicked me out i moved in with him and life had never ever felt so perfect, i loved waking up in his arms, and staring into his big blue eyes, it wasn't long till we slept together the first guy since the rape incident and it felt incredible i couldn't believe my luck but i wish i had braced myself for what was about to hit me. Everything seemed normal in face we were more loved up then ever (so i thought) then it started phone beeping, messgaes on msn or the computer, acting dodgey, i just thought we were going through a rough patch. I mean i had never had a proper relationship till now and i would be damned if i was going to let this one go. Then one day as i was laying in his arms after we had sex his phone beeped and he kinda moved away from me, i peered over to him texting some girl saying 'I love you so much x x x x x' Well this through me off, he saw my face and told me it was just a friend, now i may of not had a relationship before but i'm not stupid. I waited for him to go downstairs to get some food when i quickly rang my friend in tears i told her everything, i could feel the tears run down my face, a stabbing in my heart, i had never felt this hurt or betrayed by anyone i loved him. When he came back i told him i couldn't carry this on and if he was going to cheat then he could cheat on some other girl, it was then he pulled out a ring and asked me to make him the happiest man alive. I was so happy i forgot about everything and within a second i accepted. It was so happy for another couple of months but then came the texts and it all started again then on his floor i found a picture, one he had drew with a heart and my best mates name in it, i couldn't believe what i was seeing, i thought no this is stupid, i quickly screwed it up and threw it on the other side of the room. My friend texted and asked me if i wanted to go round hers, now i hadn't seen any of my friends for a long while as i was side track and mr right (or so i thought) didn't like me going out. It was 2 days before valentinesday so i thought why not, i needed to get him a presant anyways. Me and my friend were having such a good time looking around the shops, i finally brought him some chocolates and a card and put some money in the card. I couldn't wait to see him the next day, after me and my friend stopped off for a drink i went to see my other friend for a bit. I went round there and told my friend and her mum about how happy i was and how loved up me and him where. When all of a sudden my phone beeped it was him, When i opened my inbox and read the text i couldn't believe my eyes my heart pounding, my eyes streaming, i couldn't take it. I just didn't get it everything was right that morning (so i thought) I went online to ask him why he had ended it he then told me that i didn't deserve an explanation. I went back to the friend's who i went to town with sat there in tears and told her everything. She told me i was better off without him. That night i couldn't help but to cry as i laid there with his jumped near me (as it smelt like him and made me feel closer to him) i just cried, i done this every night for months just crying myself to sleep not knowning what i done wrong. I then started speaking to him again and we soon decided to meet up, i loved him and i knew somewhere deep down he loved me. As we saw eachother he started hugging me and kissing me, i pulled away and told him to not send me mixed signals. He told me he wanted me back and then i told him i will only be lovey dovey if we were back together or else it would kill me, well that night we were back to normal all loved up when suddenly his sister pulled him over to speak to him i didn't get it, he was acting dodgey again he then told me my bestfriend had refused to talk to him when she found out i was there and she had told him that she will never speak to him again. I felt my heart rip out all over again he then told me he wanted me and just me. I was happy and we had sex and went to sleep the next morning i got ready to leave, as i was half way he told me he didn't know if he wanted this and he has to think. I couldn't believe it! i was just used! i walked off and was quiet i sat in silence and cried all day the next couple of weeks were a blur of just heartache and tears. After a couple of months i realized he had cheated on me with up to 6 other girls! I then got told one of them was my bestfriend and the other was some girl i knew. I couldn't believe it at one point he even told some other girl he wished he was with her and not me! I thought he loved me and we would be together forever well that was short lived! I vowed i would never be so stupid again well Nearly a year later and i haven't seen him once. After about 6 months of all this happening along came the next boy ... ... ...

Your have to read on another time about the next boy

For now i am off bye bloggers
xoxo

stero types.

Why is it every teen feels the need to sterotype
and then when it is done back to them they moan.
I really don't get it with Emo's, Chav's, Tom Boys whatever the next one will be.
What happened to individuality i mean why can't a person be able to wear what they like, listen to what they like without being judged, i just don't get it. Like you sleep with one guy and your known as a slut, where as someone who you may not know about could of slept with 5x's that many people and they don't get a bad name about them because well their aloud to. It just does my head in or if you wear a short skirt you must be a sket, if you wear skinnies you must be a emo, if you were a band top you must be a grebo what the hell, when will all this pettiness wear off.
Is this really the day and age we wanna bring our kids into?
And what is with this whole emo and cutting thing. Not all emo's cut and chav's can cut too the only difference is a chav prob don't show them off as much, why can't people just mind their own buisness!
Well that is pretty much my moan over and done with
Bye for now bloggers :)
xoxo